sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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