in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
