if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
