When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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