so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize