I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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