So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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