I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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