Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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