It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
