I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
