FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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