This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
