Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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