I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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