lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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