I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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