I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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