just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
