Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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