why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
