Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
