In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
