matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
