Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize