Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I still have a little drunk in my system
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
