Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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