I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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