he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
