Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
