Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
