Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
