some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize