I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
how drunk are you?
Several
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize