you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
