Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
