I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my being single is dangerous.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
