rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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