Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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