Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
