Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
