I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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