In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize