I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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