The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
