i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
