Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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