So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
