On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
