Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
