Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
