I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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