pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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