could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
