New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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