The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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